Broken Angel, I am so sorry ~ it's really all quite a mess for you right now. I don't have the family that you have, so I can only night imagine how painful that must be-- tugging at you one way and the other.

To lose the comfort of the boyfriend is a double agony--better maybe to have never had it. Sadly, these losses are all part of life and there will be more of them that we must learn to cope with.

I hope you will continue posting here and that you will try to find strength in the fact that so many of us have gone through this and go through it and that we find strength in the fact that this is part of life and we do survive it. It doesn't sound like much ... But taken a day at a time, it works.