He's not responding to my email. I think he wants me to come in like this so he can see me upset. Does not want to make me feel better because I am seeing him soon. I understand that. This is just so difficult. I feel like a big liar because of this dissociation and I think he's going to think I'm doing something wrong. It's so confusing. He tells me I'm doing a good job but I don't believe any of it.

Him having the paper means it's real and it happened.