DE / all -

My partner has done the same thing to me over and over and over again... I highly suspect this is due to him having witnessed so many episodes and being scared. I know he's only trying to do his best, but I'm a grown man myself and sometimes feel he's taking it to the extremes....

Then again, when I've racked up one credit card with TWENTY-THREE orders of the same thing (I never though UPS was going to leave that day), I must trust his judgment calls whenever my finances are 'revoked'...

I cant surprise him or the handful of people in my life with something bcuz I simply cannot be trusted.. Since I'm also stuck with good ol' panic dis w/AG, I don't exactly run to the store for the stuff, ergo using the net to order things.

So we came to a mutual agreement some time ago - if I want to buy something, all I have to do is let him sit there while I put the order in and then he comes and puts my CC #'s in. He even had to call them all and have new #'s re-issued bcuz I memorized several of them and ended up using them.... Talk about me being a good sneak?? I don't know whether to laugh at my actions or slap myself..... Nonetheless, this way I don't know the #'s, all the cards/statements are in a combination-locked safe, and my finances are protected...

He also knows whenever it is 'probably' legitimate since I don't run around the house like someone on speed. It's VERY hard to hide this - despite me thinking that I could; if I am not literally running around the house, then I'm running my mouth to myself or the closest available object... Then he will either flat-out deny letting me use my finances or he will 'fake' purchasing them to shut me up... If it is the latter of the two, it's the best thing to do as I will go on and on and on and on until I get my way... Within hours, I forget about it altogether and it's all good....

SO - it's pretty hard for another person, yet alone myself/ourselves, to distinguish between the two. Of course, no offense intended to anyone here - but in my opinion, I'd rather error on the side of caution to ensure my "good mood" is not the "pre-episode" type feelings I get....

WHY do we have to be plagued with such horrible diseases/disorders?? GRRRR!!!!!

Thanks for listening -
Niko