Hope you're feeling a little better Broken Angel, you are a treasure!
I know your parents love you, wish they could see you need some extra help and attention and tenderness.
One day all 3 of my kids separately came to me saying, "Why do you just give _____ whatever he/she wants!" I think I locked myself in bathroom and cried. They don't understand what it's like from my side. I know I love each one equally and in the most immense infinite way possible. Therapy does help.
I wish you could at least get a therapist?