If you really love her like you say you do, you'll get her the help she needs regardless of how much she's going to hate it or what other people are going to think. If you're worried about what people are going to think about you, not her, that comes across as being really selfish on your part.

I was in a situation where I needed pharmaceutical intervention and counseling and my husband refused to let it happen because "those kinds of things don't happen in MY family. WE don't have problems." Well, yes, they do and we did, and now we're divorced for 6+ years.

You say you're telling her that's she's important in your eyes, but are you showing her? If your words and deeds aren't meshing, she's most likely going to believe what you're doing, not what you're saying.

I really don't want to be harsh here, but the part really strikes a chord where you say 3/4 of the population within a 50 mile radius are clients. Are you really so arrogant to think that all of those people are going to give a crap what's going on in your life? They have lives and problems of their own, and if you're so in demand and they have no other place conviently to go, you aren't going to lose much if any business. Our local dentist has a stash or porn in his office closet and was cheating on his wife with one of his young assistants. He's a horrible dentist and yet he managed to update his clinic recently, so obviously not enough people care what he does if it doesn't affect them.

My ex-H pulled that same line on me. "How dare you have a friendship with that freak of a hair stylist. I have sales clients in that town. Do you have any idea what it's going to do to MY reputation for them to know my wife is having an affair." One, I wasn't having an affair. We were simply friends at that point. Two, the guy wasn't the freak my ex thought he was. He was straight, had a son, and was pulling his life together. Three, his reputation and clientele didn't change one iota.

I'd better shut up before I get myself in more trouble.