one year ago i lost my first love... she died with horrible death.. and i can't deal with her death :sad2: sometimes i think she sits right next to me... i think that she wants me to join her :(

most of my time i spend alone sometimes looking at her picture... it feels so bad that i started self harming... i started smoking and thinking of suicide...

some nights i just sit there looking at my tears drop on the flour... i can't control it its too much...

what is hapenning to me :(