one year ago i lost my first girlfriend which died with a horrible death... i still cant deal with what happen.. i still think that she is alive... sometimes i look at her photograph most of the times i cry because i can't hold it...

because of her death i got depression... it led me to self harming and trying to take my own life... sometimes its stronger than me, i faint and i cant stop crying, also when i cry my heart hurts like mad... i can feel that pain with every part of my body...

i need help :(