Thanks Emmy for this. Should be interesting...

How you found yours, did you shop around?
My insurance at the time was somewhat limited as far as choices, but did offer a referral line where I could get testimonies from patients who had used the various Therapists on the list. Mine came highly recommended.

What was the first appt like?
I was extremely nervous. I didn't really know what to expect having never done it before. Did I lie on a couch? LOL! After the first ten minutes or so, he made me feel very relaxed and comfortable. But I was still guardedly cautious. Trust is an issue when I first meet people in person.

When did you know if it clicked or not?
There was a definite comfort level from the very first meeting. He asked a lot of questions about the types of relationships I had with the role models in my life. I think this was to help him establish obvious trouble spots in my childhood and adolescents. He had an amazing insight to the troubling things in my life very early on. He gently moved me toward confronting and dealing with my demons. His approach to therapy might not be for everyone, but it was perfect for me.

Male or female selection and why?
Nothing against the ladies, but I purposely looked for a male therapist. I was raised in a family with mostly females. I had, and continue to have great relationships with them. My only male relationship of consequence was my grandfather, who was my abuser. And now my son who I love with all my heart. It was important to me to develop an important relationship, someone I could trust, with a male. I needed to know that not all adult males would hurt me if given the chance.

Their personal style…open, warm, friendly, formal, stiff, etc.
He’s very open and caring, a very warm and friendly person. He carefully broaches trouble spots in my life and doesn’t force me to talk if I’m not ready. But he won’t let me avoid the things forever. We’ll set a timetable to talk about certain times and events in my life. This gives me time to prepare. And he walks me carefully thru these painful events, giving me time to pause and collect myself when I need to.

Type of therapy; CBT, psychoanalytic, eclectic (little bit of everything), couples, group, who-knows-if-it-helps, etc.
If I had to pick from the list I’d say psychoanalytic. He’s real good at taking hurts and pains and breaking them down into cause and effect. I feel that he thinks that if I have an understanding of why my mother neglected me, or why my grandfather abused me, it might help start me on the healing process. I can agree that not knowing why had made me hold on to some deep-seated hatred for a very long time. It’s a long, tenuous growing process.

Transference issues, if any
Absolutely none that I’m aware of.

How long have you been going
About 3 years with him. I also did a group session for about 6 months. I really enjoyed that. The group dynamic is unique in the respect that you can get so many varying opinions.

I guess what I’d add to this is I think that therapy is important to achieving any level of stability in depression, in my humblest of opinions of course. The meds brought the physical me to a place of balance. But therapy helps bring me to an understanding of self. These things coupled together allow me to survive with some level of comfort. This is important to me.

Emmy, I hope this is OK. Thanks again for bringing this to light, I enjoyed it!

Greg