Your statement about being alone and having panic attacks speaks volumes about your needs. Anxiety can usually be controlled. You may need meds and support.

When you feel better you might want to investigate teen group organizations and/or youth groups at a church.

Most people, teens included, do not want to talk about feelings. They are afraid others will view them as not "normal." But, I have found that many people have the same feelings I have but they afraid to say so. Were all humans, we all have flaws.

I suffer from Bi-Polar. Sometimes the days are hard to get through. You are at a young age. Because of you age you may have a good prognosis if you act now and don't withdraw.

Good luck, have faith and don't be concerned what others think. Your journey may help others someday.