***Trigger for talk of termination***



I broke things off with my T, which has been a long time coming. I should have done this last December, but I hate change. There is this tinge of fear that I am "running away" from something, but I don't think so.

My thought was to find a female T to process some body stuff with, even though I am really uncomfortable with women. Really uncomfortable. So I called about 8 t's last week and from the ones I heard back from I have 2 appts. this week.

1) Is an older woman who actually first told me "no new clients". Then she asked what my issue was and I told her I needed to process a mastectomy. (seriously...I have many) She got excited, told me she too went thru that and said she'd make the exception. So I am meeting with her today, for a 90min session She said I would fill out several pages of forms first, which scares me. I don't want to go into my whole sorted history (mental health or otherwise) with someone I've just met. The fact that she's older scares me a bit too. I am calling her Frau T [whinny]

2) Is actually a man who's web page I found interesting, as he explained a lot about my own issues on it (but not the body stuff). I am more relaxed with the thought of telling him stuff because he didn't make me pinpoint an issue over the phone. But I don't think I can discuss my breasts with a man. I call him Mr. AOL because I found it odd that he still uses an aol email.

Dilemma. I am going to call a few more t's... but what do you all think? I am going to make my own choice in the end of course, but a lot of you know me quite well and your input is usually helpful. My big fear about Frau T [whinny] is that she will reject me when she finds out that I have a lot more issues. I would love to talk to someone who has been thru what I have though.