Aw, mannn...

Today's mail had a huge package for me from Mayo. I couldn't imagine what it was.

Well, what it was was my 100-page chart from Froedtert (one of the hospitals I was in for my aplastic anemia last winter), that I asked them to send to the hematologist here in mid-April. It just showed up. Mayo is paperless, so he looked it over and sent it back to me.

So I looked through it, what the hell.And I just had to take a couple of Xanax to chill. Good grief. I know I was pretty out of it, as evidenced by the 3 solid pages of blood and platelet transfusions noted -- I knew I got a bunch toward the end there, but I sure don't remember 3 pages' worth! So maybe I was too out of it for them to bother to mention it, but I would liked to have known, I think, that I was that close to kicking off. You can't imagine some of these test results. At one point, I had 2,000 platelets. Normal is 150,000 to 450,000. They did a bone marrow biopsy and found NINE CELLS to work with.

Man. Scary *****.

I did get a giggle out of the one dr.'s dictated report that said on admission to Froedtert, I had "flat affect" and "looked grossly depressed," LOL. GO FIGURE, DINGBAT! Geeeeeeeze!!!

This has really knocked me for a loop. It's different to hear it from people than it is to see it in all its black-and-white glory on a piece of paper.

I guess the way to counteract it is to go pick up the results of my tests from last week that I haven't asked for yet! LOL I'm much better now, but scared of it coming back when I finish the meds at the end of August. REALLY scared, now that I know what is probably too much!



Candy