Quote:
Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet
It sounds like he is depressed about finding work and struggling to make the transition from study to full time employment. I get this notion because you mentioned that he will only apply for work at high-end restaurants, which suggests to me that he is uncomfortable with the reality of starting out in a career and would be easily bummed out by having to start out in a lowly job. This may be compounded by the fact that you have gotten a job already and are college educated.
I would suggest a non-accusatory approach with regard to finding work. One question i always hated being asked is 'when will you find a job?'. Instead maybe ask, what you can do to help him find a job, and what concerns he has, etc.
Let me know what happens from here, I'm curious.
T.
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The Irony here is that I have tried every approach, including asking how I can help. He said I could look on craigslist and send him jobs. I do this everyday for months now. So now when I ask if he followed up with any of them he freaks out on me and again, tells me to mind my own business. I told him he is right, its not my business but he asked for my help and then yells at me when I ask about it! Today was a bad day for us, I asked him if he had ever heard back from a final interview he got. He said yes but refused to tell me what they said. This just seems to childish and rude that he tries to "punish" me this way. After telling him I was looking for something more stable because I do want a future, he said, "Okay, we are taking the gloves off now? I have some things to say about you that bother me..." He proceeded to tell me he is no longer attracted to me since I've gained weight (maybe 10-12lbs...I am 5'6.5 at 135lbs). That just about knocked me off my seat and I instantly ran to the bathroom at work to cry. I dont know about you all, but I think our relationship is better off dead. That is such a horrible thing to say to anyone, especially one you a) love and b) know has issues with depression, anxiety, and self-image. Thanks for the responses.