Feeling hopeless about recovery is not uncommon for me. When I'm in a depressed mood my prevailing thoughts are "what's the point?" and "why bother?" But just like placebos or sugar pills some belief or hope is needed for them "work". Believe that there is a cure out there and that you won't feel like this forever. There is some relief out there for you but it could take years. I consider it a good day if I just did ONE thing, even if that one thing was taking a shower or making a meal. It's the small steps that get you moving in the right direction. Sometimes you just want to take those big leaps but you don't have control over the speed of your recovery. Just know that you are getting closer everyday.