WARNING SI


I have (not today or anything but in the past) cut a switch and whaled on myself with it and other stuff before just to try to remember how it felt. My reaction now is
"holy **** that hurts" which leads not as I had hoped, to remembering, but rather to thinking I must just be mistaken one because I should remember and two because I can't believe they meant to do it (this sort of irrational response is contradicted by their own merry reports of what they did to us) and three - they must have hit softer or whatever softer.
I think therapy is making me crazier.