I hate this so much. I feel completely worthless. All I can ever think about is that I don't want to be alive for another second. I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of waking up screaming, and crying... and not having anyone there to help me calm down. I hate sitting in my living room watching tv, and just randomly crying. I hate randomly getting scared out of my mind, and start having a panic attack. I would give anything to have someone to just sit here and hug me, when i'm scared. I can't stand to be alone. If I don't have someone right there, with me... I get really freaked out. I don't have anyone, though. No one wants to deal with my "problems".It's too much for them. I recently lost my best friend, too.... My... only friend. Seriously. I'M 15! I shouldn't have to watch my back, where ever I go. I shouldn't wake up in the middle of the night bawling my eyes out, and screaming. I shouldn't randomly start crying,no matter where I am, who i'm with, or what i'm doing. I shouldn't feel so hopeless... and so lost. I shouldn't constantly have panic attacks,and be forced to not have my medication. I just can't stand not having anyone to actually be here with me. I just want someone to sit here with me,and help me calm down, and stop crying. :'c I hate everything...so much....