It seems sort of odd that I have no emotion around the things I can remember and how much I can't remember at all. I have more memory of cs than I do of them actually punishing me even though I can remember the events up to and after but not usually what I did to cause it. It is like in old movies where you see the man and the woman go into the bedroom, then the door shut and black and then the next morning they come out of the room. And no one saw what went on in the room. "let us draw a curtain around..."sort of thing. That is what my memories are like and without any memory of being afraid or hurt or anything.