I have been hospitalized for in twenty three days in the last couple of months. I have learned a few things negative and positive. I was in a place where doctors, nurses, and mental health workers really care and are attentive to you no matter how many time you hash out your negative feelings and stories. I had days where I felt okay and others where I endured emotional rollercoasters. Now for the negative, I learned that my one and only support is not really as supportive as I thought. My mother watched my five kids when I was in the hospital and I know it was not easy, but I learned that she was verbally mean to my kids and stated that I was somewhat faking my illness. She also said she would never watch my kids for me while If I was hospitalized. I guess I didn't really consider her an emotional support, she was just a babysitter. I also found out that I cannot rely on my exhusband either, he came to see the kids from Louisiana and I went in the hospital. I knew he was coming for sometime and suffered for four months with my depression. I thought he would stay until i got out of the hospital but instead he left the kids with my mother. When I knew I was getting bad again I called him and asked him to come and take care of the kids so they would not have to deal with my mother, but he didn't come. Instead he let me know that if I go in the hospital again he will take all my kids away from me. I am suffering from a major depressive episode and am under great stress. I was hoping my exhusband would work with me for the sake of our children, but he didn't. I am so alone and feel so empty inside. I just don't know what to do. thanks for listening.