I do know in terms of punishment what they described having done to us, and the welts and stuff afterwords. And sometimes it would be done in public. So I agree with the therapist it does not sound like I would have had fun (she describes it differently than how I just put it). With the cs - I remember the acts, just not that I was bothered by it most of the time. And on that it feels like I have to fight the therapist who insists, in some rather graphic language, I must have felt something.

I appreciate everyone sharing their experience with me.