Wow, velcro, what great insight! Thanks for sharing, as it helped me to recognize a few things in myself....

One thing that just dawned on me is how the emotions can become uncovered in stages...and some of it based on false beliefs and other defense mechanisms that we use....as well as guilt and shame.

I know that during my childhood and teen years, aside from the CSA's, I was physically abused by my parents. (ACK, have trouble acknowledging that it was "abuse". Blech.)....And it got to the point where I started to enjoy it. I felt like I had super human strength at that point, with an adrenaline rush of rage that would bring my lifeless self to life.....

I haven't gotten past that step yet....but I imagine that under all of that is a whole other set of emotions that I haven't dug deep enough to get to.....