I was ready to throw down my list of med related complaints, until I really thought of it, and I would not trade the way I feel now for anything. Sure, I would love to not pump chemicals into my body and feel like I singlehandedly support the big pharm companies, but my meds in combination with my ect have been the best thing to happen to me in a long time. My mood episodes are not gone, but they don't take me over. They have seemed to go away within a day or two. My weight is an issue, but I ama changing my diet and planning exercise. I can't really complain about it until I have done everything in my power to lose the weight. My thyroid is shot, but my levothyroxine is keeping it stable. I am thankful for the meds working. It has been a hard road getting here. I do fear destabilization, but for now I'll take what I have and enjoy it as best I can. Adversity is disappointing, but I am not crushed by it and that alone makes my bp treatment worth it.