I wish that she hadn't come back. I was doing fine without her but now I have all these emotions related to her to deal with again and I feel overwhelmed and I want them all to disappear.

I don't want to go back to spending all my energy keeping them in control/trying to manage them.

I want to have some space to feel other emotions about other people/other situations!

I don't want to go back to having that incessant urge to be in contact with her...it isn't healthy to feel that way about someone who I can't develop a 'real' relationship with.

What I want is to get some space between me and all these feelings again but everywhere I go and everything I do all I feel is a deep pit of pain in my stomach that I can't seem to remedy.

I want to learn to put my feelings aside and live my life.

now she has come back I am feeling all the pain of her being gone but don't want her anywhere near me.