But how do I have feelings AND keep things in my life together? I am tired of having feelings that are so big that they drown out any goodness in my life. And I don't want to hurt myself anymore...I know it is my choice to do that but I don't know what else to do when there is no one to talk to during the week and my words don't seem to convey how painful it is. I'm tired!

I understand I have to jump into my feelings but I am so tired of being alone in them. It sounds like all I do is make excuses and then complain that I feel bad...I want to jump into my feelings but I don't want them to control me.