Have you tried seeing a counselor to help work out the issues with your anxiety? Also, try going for walks or to the park with your kids. Getting exercise for yourself can help with some anxiety problems. You were completely right about being upset with your husband over the comment that he made to your son. That is not acceptable. If he is willing and has the time, perhaps trying couples counseling can be beneficial. He may be resistant, but telling him that it would help with your anxiety and better your overall relationship could help.
As for your son. Make sure the school is doing everything that they can for him. Request an evaluation, if one wan't already done. It appears that he should be receiving speech therapy. Also, get him evaluated for auditory processing or possible learning problems. The sooner you start, the better the outcome. I hope this helps. Please take care.