It's weird because I am very obedient. I can't walk out ever. So I was feeling really trapped. This guy supposedly has a big treatment center on the main land. He was written up as dealing with alcoholic's children and domestic violence. If I don't call he may call me. oh no.

H is on his way home for a little bit, I only took a sip of vodka because I remembered I have to sit for my niece later on. I took the dogs out and cut some lavender. I can take care of myself, I am older, I am stronger, I am safe.