My husband doesn't do this all the time and he does have some good in him. He is also open to change....even though it's difficult for him to do so.

Why have I stayed with him for 22 yrs? Many reasons. There was a long period of time when he wasn't like this...but was a loving caring husband and father. I know a lot of people stay in a bad relationship because they don't want to hurt their kids....when in realitiy the kids still get hurt in the process. In this case our kids want us to remain the way we are...and as long as I have my own condo I am content to keep things the way they are....and the way they must be in order to survive.

In the past 10 yrs I have filed for divorce 3 times. The first time I filed he turned on the charm and I fell for it hook line and sinker. So we remained together for several more years. The second time I filed...hhhmmnnn....I'm trying to remember why I dropped the divorce suit. To tell you the truth I honestly can't remember why I dropped it. The third time I do remember why I dropped it. By then we were already living in our own separate residenses so him being nasty to me wasn't too much of a problem....although I did almost have to file a restraining order to keep him from stalking me. The main reasons I dropped that one was that he was taking the minds of our 2 mentally ill kids and preying on them. He made their life a literal h*ll......by that time my daughter was living in a group home....my son was in a p hosp and my youngest decided he wanted to live with his dad. I couldn't stand to see what he was doing to our kids. And they just came back for more and more. I couldn't bear to see them suffer so I told my husband that I would drop the suit if he stopped preying on our kids minds. In spite of all he had done to the kids they didn't want us to divorce.

ATM I am living in my own separate condo with my 19 yr old son living with me (he has sz severely). My husband has mellowed....I think my moving to a state far away last yr and staying there with friends had quite an impact on him. He still does weird things, but I just try to let it go ASAP.

I'm not pushing for a divorce ATM......I am on disability, and am physically disabled...not able to work at all. I only get A little over $500 @mos from SS. My husband pays for the meds I need...food......car ins etc. I can't make it on my own financially. So, I have adapted to this lifestyle cos it has been the only thing that has worked.

There is so much more to this than what I've written. I am not unhappy most of the time.....and he is good to me in other ways. He does need to get into therapy to deal with his issues. It will be a struggle to get him into a counseling arena, but I think it can be accomplished. Also, there really is no way out. Financially I would be a disaster (even with alimony I wouldn't be able to cover my expenses)......and my husband would continue to go about is dysfunctional way....whereas in this situation there is a possibility he will go for counseling. Sometimes things just have to be what they are. In the whole scheme of my life now is better than much of my past.....you don't develop DID cos life was a bed of roses.

Sweet

"It's never too late to be what you might have been". George Eliot