I started to see a psychologist a few months because of my crazy stressful workload/personal life.. everything seemed to be crashing together... I am different at work than I am at home (obviously) - like 2 different people. At work I am strong, secure, confident.. and at home I am a nightmare at times. Some people who are very close to me say "good morning" in that tenative voice to feel me out and see how good it really is .. It breaks my heart.

My husband and I are having issues and he is wanting some space to catch his breath and put things into perspective for him (OMG!) I went running back to the psychologist where he blessed me with the knowledge that I have BPD. Fear of abandoment - I may as well be the poster child.. I go into wild and bizarre behaviours. Calling someone 25 times in 10 min if they don't answer and I NEED to talk to them is nothing... because I *know* they're there .. they just don't want to talk to me ..

Wow..

Even now I am on the verge of tears with relief/anxiety/fear that there really are people out there who feel what I feel, do what I do, know what I am going through .. I am in awe.

I am tired of feeling like this.. saddened by people having to "walk on eggshells" around me (I've used that phrase alot before I saw the book)..

I am grateful for this site and for those who contribute to the postings.. It is amazing to know I am not as alone as I feel most days.

~Sway