((((Mama)))) I am with the other members and echo Shez...please post to your heart's content and don't worry It's important that you get it all out. We are here to support you, my dear.

(as far as the argument is concerned...as a couple, once people get "set" in certain patterns, sometimes, it can be really hard for one to come around when the other makes changes. Especially if there are complex dynamics going on. Clearly, you are trying very hard to stop playing the "game" (by changing your responses and behavior with him), but he is still not quite "getting it").

IMHO, bottom line: he is a neat freak and you are not. The question is, can you come to a compromise?