earthmamma, I wanted to thank you so much for posting this, and to tell you that these words made such an impression on me that they came to me today, 13 days later, when I really needed them. I am working so hard in T to grow up, but my dependence schema tells me I can't manage alone in this big bad world, and I compulsively seek care. Your words remind me of my long term goal, and how much I want it, when my urges in the moment don't match.