I hope what I am about to write helps you or someone else. First of all, you're not a mean Mama because you want some help with the mess that everyone makes.

I don't know if your husband controls all the money or what, but here is the important part. You're his wife and he is supposed to love, cherish and take care of you, just like you are supposed to love, cherish and take care of him. That's what a loving marriage should be. When children get old enough and if they are able, they show their love for their family by pitching in on chores, too: A 14 year old is certainly old enough to wash a car and supervise a slightly younger child gathering trash from the interior.

No one is supposed to be a slave in a family. Decent treatment shouldn't be a matter of bickering or bargaining or begging. A good husband treats his wife with love and respect. A good wife treats her husband with love and respect. Good parents treat their children with love and respect and good children treat their parents with love and respect. I view these as non-negotiable.