((Chopin))

I have redrafted this post many times.

I support you 100% but I also want to give you something that might actually be useful. Tricky. Here goes...

"Mother figure" is obviously an emotionally charged phrase for both of you. Are the words getting in the way of the reality?

If you write down a list of "things a mother should do", I think you will find that your T does in fact do a great many of them.

For the rest, there is no real option but to grieve. And that will be horrible. I cried for a week over this very issue, the longest and hardest grieving I ever did as an adult.

I wish I could spare you this pain.