Since my daughter died I have been going through all sorts of emotions/symptoms. Up until now most have been familiar ones that I am used to dealing with. I haven't been out of the house since last Thursday and today I made my foray out into the world. It's scarier than I remember. I began to feel anxious from the moment I cranked the engine. Every passing car, every stop sign, pedestrian crossing would generate an image of some sort of disaster, usually of me dying. The anxiety would well up and I would end up driving a lot slower than my years would normally allow (turn signals on for the appropriate length of time and correctly used). I have never had sustained anxiety. Short lived episodes yes but never like today.

The fragility and fleetingness of life has been taught to me to a depth I never before felt.