I had/have similar feelings. I isolate myself because I fear being triggered into a negative state of mind. Being a little paranoid and little less manic has given me a safe place to interact with people. At PC, there are supportive people. I realize, too, that everyone has their own issues to deal with. So, I am learning better diplomacy and timing to create some positive experiences that minimizes pain and humiliation separating me from depression. So, continue to post and try the chat rooms to find positivity to help you. Take care and welcome and hugs.