Does anyone here think I'm not aware of that? Because I am.

I hate being the woman with facial features big enough for two people.

I hate being attracted to men with daintier chins and noses than mine, which is just about everyone on the planet except for maybe Jay Leno and Jamie Farr and, well, I'm not attracted to that. So why would a guy be attracted to someone with a face like mine?

I hate thinking that every date I ever go on where I end up being rejected is because of my nose and chin, because that's what boys in high school taunted me for, that and being small breasted.

I hate that I constantly hear in my head even 30 years later "You know you have a big nose?" "Ever think of getting that fixed?" Yes, and yes, and I don't need some guy telling me that while at the same time trying to get me in bed for a one night stand

I hate that my teeth didn't develop properly and I had to have them crowned before natural looking ones were designed, and now cosmetic dentistry is only feasible for the affluent or people who haven't run their credit up to the max. I hate that when I smile my teeth are two different colors. I hate seeing every girl from the age of 17 and up with perfectly straight, blindingly white teeth and knowing that I'm inferior because I don't have that.

I hate my genes that made me short and muscular instead of long and lean, and realizing that drag queens and every other man would look better in a dress and heels than I do.

I hate not being able to speak my mind because I don't do it "gently." I wasn't TAUGHT gentle. I didn't SEE gentle, not inside or outside my home. I was taught then when someone confronts you in a way you don't like, you stick a shotgun in their face, scream and spit on them, and then run away, abandoning your kids in the process.

I hate that I question the motives of every guy I ever have contact with. If they appear to like me, it can only be because I have a pulse and don't have a penis. But I know they'll be laughing with their friends when I actually fell for their act.

I hate going to the beach and seeing everyone else without even the hint of a razor bump peeking out of their swimsuit bottoms, and the comment starts running through my head from my ex boyfriend "I've seen HUNDREDS of women, and I've never seen ANY of them who couldn't get a smooth shave down there." Oh, OK, guess I'll just forego feeding my kids for a few months so I can go have laser removal.

My ugliness outside feeds my ugliness inside, and then I come in here and have it validated even more.

<font color="red">I HATE ME. I HATE YOU. I HATE THE WORLD. </font>