Hi Dahlia,

I am so sorry you had to endure this when you should have been playing carefree without a worry about protecting yourself.

Unforchantly, I totally can relate to your experiences. My mother was also brutal, I think if it wasn't for my stubborness to live, I would have died from her abuse, sometimes I think it would have been easier. I am still living with the pain, it is like it never ends, it seems like it changes us forever. I am in therapy trying to work all of this out, usually am doing fine until something triggers the memories. Hearing a mother yell at her child or threaten to spank them, makes me physically ill. I just feel so weak because I want to rescure the poor little child and I can't. It is like I freeze up. I remember feeling this even as a child.
Is your mother still alive? I am sorry I am new, so I don't know. My mother (it feels weird to even call her that), is still around and it scares the heck out of me, she has threatened to abduct my kids and everything. Just recently an aunt of mine told my mother what I have been saying, and my mom denied it all and then threatened me by saying that when she sees me next she will show me what real abuse is. This was just a month ago, so I feel the nerveness of it all again. It isn't fair that we have to go through this even as adults, it totally sucks, but lets try to be stronger then them, we know we are because we have survived. Now we just need to learn to live for the first time.