Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat
My T and I used to do the same thing!! I used to feel badly about it and refused. When he offered it made me super anxious. At some point I realized he was saying that it was ok for me to ask for what I want or need. It's ok to let someone take care of you. Then I started saying yes, but I try to offer to pay every other time if I could. I couldn't when I was unemployed, so I just accepted the coffee with thanks.
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With everything else I am able to ask for what I want or need. When we go for our walks I'm pretty direct where I want our walk to go. If I feel like going by the water or the park or making him lead.
although letting someone else take care of me is a weird thought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrise
Sometimes my T will go to the cafe in his building to get a coffee or snack at the beginning of our session, before we start, and sometimes he asks me if he can get me something. A few times I have accepted and he has bought me a tea. Usually I just say no because I don't want anything. I don't mind him paying $1 for a cup of tea for me now and again because I pay him over a hundred times that for our session. After all, we may miss a minute or two of the session when he is getting our drinks (although he never shorts me on time and would probably go a couple of minutes longer to equalize). I do not feel beholden to T because I have let him get me a cup of tea a few times. I have paid this man thousands of dollars over the years! Just not a problem for me.  |
I would probably feel a bit better about it if I paid T out of pocket, even though I see him twice a week my insurance covers it at 100% so I feel like I see him for free. So it doesn't feel equalized.
Quote:
Originally Posted by retro_chic
You are certainly not an oddball. I don't even say yes when T offers me a glass of water at the beginning of each session. I think I only said yes once or maybe twice with my old T and it was only because I was really thirsty. |
Quote:
Originally Posted by ECHOES
I take coffee or tea with me to my sessions. It took a while before I felt comfortable doing that and being able to finally do it was a small accomplishment.
Could you try it once and see how it feels to actually do it, versus the thought about what it would be like? Sometimes those little experiments are fun! |
I really want to try once. The experiment seems interesting but I don't know if I ever could. I have told myself do itttttt in my head a few times but I ended up just shaking my head no.
Quote:
Originally Posted by autotelica
My therapist has a little closet with a sink in her office. Occasionally she'll ask if I want a cup of water when she's pouring herself one, and I'll always say yes. I have never thought about this, but this is actually not my MO IRL. Normally I only drink when I'm so dehydrated that I have salt crystals in my eyes. And normally I decline similar offers from people, like when I visit them in their homes.
lost, maybe if getting a coffee is too intimidating, you can ask for a little cup of water. Usually that's free.
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It's interesting you pointed this out. I just realized T has offered me bottles of water in the office after our walks on several occasions. Each time I said no..it seems I also have a hang up accepting free stuff.