what is "it" that she can't give you? she sees it as a God-shaped hole. That she sees it as unfillable, as only divinely fixable, says maybe she doesn't have a good enough answer for you? One thing I wonder and admire about my T is that how, faced with just about the worst tragedy a child can have, losing his mom, does he manage to be such a happy guy and give to others and be successful in many ways, even tho no, he's not perfect. but how has he kept going? with this insane joie de vivre that he exudes? yet he also sulks. but he is not defined by that hole, that loss, and he doesn't want his patients to be defined by their can'ts or don't haves or didn't haves. But by will and can and do - and love. That's who YOU are, choppin, and that's what you give your clients. that's why your T wanted to be friends with you - to get some of that off you, to learn that from you, to go from hole to whole, because that's what YOU have in you, what you already give to people. your H knows it.