Rose, I know this doesn't help much, but we have a lot in common. My entire family went on a Thanksgiving cruise. The only reason I found out about it is because my brother was having problems getting a passport and contacted me to find out what to do. Nice way to find out. Every year, my family had a big birthday party for my dad and I was never invited even though I called several times and attempted to find out what they were doing. When my dad died, they showed pictures of some of the events and talked about it like I was there but I hadn't even known about it. I don't have a solution for you. Just know that you're not alone. I have major fears of abandonment and they largely stem from the way my mother treated me when I was little. Now, as hard as it is and I know I'll feel bad when something happens, I've moved across the country without letting her or the rest of my family know. Why should I inform them when they've never offered me the same courtesy. Let me know if you'd like to talk about it some time, and hang in there. That is all we can do.