Quote:
Originally Posted by Crescent Moon
Attachment is one of my favorite subjects.. and I wish I didn't have to get ready to go to work and could say more.
In short though, I think attachment is most beneficial to those who were emotionally neglected or abandoned in childhood. In response to my early experiences, I created a self-reliance and independence that ended up falling in the 'insecure attachment' category with respect to relationships. I'd learned I could not rely on anyone to care about my needs. My therapist was big on attachment, and just hearing her talk about it gave me the willys. I fought it tooth & nail. It took a long time, but eventually it sneaked up on me and attachment just happened. That unleashed a flurry of emotional instability.. but my therapist was wholly there for me. Through my attachment to her, I found out what a safe and healthy attachment feels like. I developed the capacity for genuine healthy intimacy. Best of all, I've been able to incorporate what I learned into my real life relationships. Not all therapists 'get' attachment theory, but I'm really glad mine was into it - because it made all the difference in the world for me.
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Crescent Moon, again you have explained it perfectly. I can relate to your experience, in that you have learned not to rely on anyone as I too am in that stage now. I have been emotionally neglected all my life, starved of human intimacy even in relationships and now I can't let anyone near me because I am afraid. i know T can't offer me any of this but I am not sure how attaching to her and then letting her go can be good for me, especially now.