I'm using an APAP machine (until my sleep dr gets a month's worth of info from the machine and can fully diagnose what I have, which he believes is Sleep Apnea).

Anyway, prior to starting the machine, I had woken myself up 3 times not breathing...as in, waking up and realizing my diaphragm was doing nothing.

I've been on the machine two weeks, and have not woken up to that happening (the machine automatically kicks in when my throat constricts, I rarely wake up to the added pressure in my mask).

Well about 30 minutes ago, I awoke from a long nap, and I wasn't breathing, again. It must have just happened, otherwise the machine would've kicked in (if you remain like that for a period of time, it will). I got up realizing I'd slept plenty. But now I feel worn out, fatigued.

I realize that I won't die from apnea episodes (people die from the side illnesses that result: high blood pressure, etc.), but they are terrifying. And that's saying a lot for someone who's had dozens of severe Panic Attacks.

I also know that this is not an instant fix. My dr told me that it can take a long time to feel the long-lasting results. I have already begun feeling less anxious, a little more refreshed, with a little more energy. I know this is just a tiny setback. But it's still so scary. My boyfriend's not home, so I'm just kind of here, trying to stay calm, feeling like my heart's racing even though it's not.

Sigh. I feel like bursting into tears.