Thread: Being pushed
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Old Aug 24, 2012, 08:23 PM
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growlycat growlycat is offline
Therapy Ninja
 
Member Since: Jan 2007
Location: How did I get here?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by learning1 View Post


Sorry Growlycat. Getting pushed sucks, I know.

I am in a similar boat with old stuff. I've been very careful about bringing up the most difficult old stuff with my t because I sense he could be pushy enough to hurt too much, although sometimes he's supportive.

I have let the more difficult stuff from the past drop from the agenda in my mind as far as talking to t about it. My stuff from the past is not awful though. Does your t support you when you talk about your past? I hope so.

I think sometimes that whether t's are pushy or supportive is fairly random. They don't talk to us often enough to really match the pushiness or supportiveness to our day to day needs.

Anyway, I'm not exactly answering your question about doing the work. My t hasn't pushed me to do something specific, but I know I need to do the same things you're struggling over exercise, etc. I have had a harder time not sinking into depression when I'm being pushed sometimes, and then I don't do things like exercise and keep busy as much. I'm also trying to be gentle with myself more than I used to. My t never told me to do that but I listen to other people who are supportive to me, especially here on pc, and it helps me believe it's okay to do that. to be gentle with myself, I mean. even if I'm not doing the work as much as I think I should. I hope you will be able to be gentle with yourself and find a good balance with pushing yourself so that you come out feeling like you did the best you could. whether t manages to be well attuned to it or not.
Thanks for this! Yes, I know he is very supportive and it all comes from a good place. So I don't feel like this is an unkindness from him.

It is funny because for years he was of the "I-can't tell-you-what-to-do" T variety. I may have inadvertently "trained " him to tell me what to do. On some level i really want it, just not all of the time. Funny how that part of our working relationship has changed.

Thanks too for the "be gentle w/yourself", it is a good thing to remember. Childhood neglect has made it hard for me to recognize that i need something then act on it. I assumed for a long time I was never going to get certain things. Going to the dr, eating right, getting enough sleep etc do not come naturally to me.

Thank you, all of you on pc are helpful, especially on days when t and i don't synch.
Hugs from:
learning1