Hi ryc0v,



Your summary seems to be major depression, imho. While you may be suffering from suicidal idealization (SI), does that mean that you've made actual attempts? Or are you planning how to do it and considering consequences?

Personally, my T wasn't too concerned about my SI. If and when I make more serious plans, that's when he wants hospitalization to occur. Otherwise, he's satisfied with my honesty ~ to speak up when I need more intensive treatment.

I hope that the outpatient therapy works well for you and provides you with the extra care and attention that you're needing. Best wishes!