This depression has felt a bit like I'm caving in on myself in a way. And that would kind of make sense. I've had a great number of very unusual crisis' over the years. Most of them are so long ago. Some of them are like aftershocks or after effects. Hard to explain.

My son was molested by my ex when he was 7. My ex then committed suicide. My son, of course, blamed himself for this. This was 17 years ago and my son still has issues. I can't help him anymore. I feel like I failed.

And that's only one thing. There are so many more. Have another son, 19, who quit school. He is working and living on his own..trying to support his 17 year old girlfriend...who has no where to live. I feel like I failed there too.

Two years ago I had back surgery. It was a tough time before the surgery...couldn't walk. Was on high doses of morphine and many other medications. So I was off work for a long time. I'm back to work now.

My husband commutes. He works away from home for 5 days and then he is home the next five. He has been doing this for about 2 and a half years. He's finding it very hard.

We will be moving. In the process of building a house close to where he works. Lots of decisions and I'm having difficulty with this. I wouldn't normally.

My husband is a good man but I can't talk about this depression with him. After having to deal with the stuff with my back, it would just be too much. Its not that he doesn't know about it..he does but when he is home, I just tell him the pills are working and put on the smile and wait for him to hurry up and go again so I can be alone.