Got a story to share on "perception." When I first started having relationship problems with my daughter, I went to our minister for help and advice. I related to him what my daughter had been saying about me to family; that I resented her having sex with her husband, that she was afraid I was going to kidnap her two boys and run away to Mexico with them and I can't remember the third right now. I couldn't believe what came out of the minister's mouth!!!! He said that "perception is 90% truth." I couldn't convince him that my daughter was having some major issues because what she was saying was so far from the truth that it left everyone floored.

I didn't believe him then, and tend to not believe that statement yet today, but there ARE circumstances where a person is told a different perspective than they see and they call it an ultimate lie or an attack on their person.

In my recent thread in Relationships about finding out that one of my DsIL had been stalking me, I found that the two younger members (this has happened before) saw things from a DIL's perspective and not mine. It could be the "generation gap," maybe not. YET! I listened to what LMo had to say, I dwelt on it, sat with it for days. Some of what she said settled with me. I could accept it and I've tried to change the way I think and speak about that particular DIL. However, I still feel somewhat invalidated by the other things that were said. I'm still looking at and thinking about those things. LMo knows me well enough to know that I'm open to contructive critisism. I'll mull it around in my mind and if I find one inkling of truth in it, I set about to change the way I think about things... therefore changing my perception. Ultimately, it won't be LMo's perception or whoever shared with me, but I accept what's been said and do what I can to make myself a better person.

We may at times be given kind, constructive critisism and sometimes, we can get lashed with it. Regardless, it would behoove us all to let our emotions cool and then think about what was said. I've found that there almost ALWAYS is some truth in another's perspective.

Ok... I'm off my soap box.