I'm writing this in hopes of falling asleep. I'll probably be deleted tomorrow when I'm more coherent.

For a long time (4-ish months) my husband and I have not been doing the best. He's been wanting me to do IOP and my response generally has been to move my pdoc further away and not letting him go into therapy w. me. This is in an attempt to "swing back" w/o intervention. He seems to be bouncing back. However today was the first day he was "serious" that was apparently unnerving to his T and pdoc. I told his T he's so much better now than the last time T saw us. He is still required to start 2 month of IOP on Monday.

We discussed their over reaction on the way home and then our car died on the road. I was good up until I went to bed. Then the first thought was "What if they weren't over-reacting?" and I lost it. Everything that I've been ignoring came flooding out. We have no car (no hope of fixing it) in an un-walkable area, 3 months of back rent, we have disconnect notices from all of our utility, and our account is negative. I would say **** it and take off but I have a responsibility to stay in the area for a year besides our son likes the area. I usually handle the bills but you can't do that from under a pile of blankets in the dark. I know we're both thinking "Our world is crumbling because I (person thinking it) failed at something". Now I'm scared to go to my appointment on Monday but I know it can't end w. IOP.

How did we not realize? Why is my T (I'm honest w. T) much calmer about this whole thing than his? How do I convince him to continue to be honest? Any idea's on how to keep myself calm about him becoming a walking vector of disease and possibly parasites for the next two months? Will there be any repercussions if we move before IOP is over?