I so want a drink! All my friends are working or are busy. I'm feeling pretty mixed today. Been up since 9am its now 12:48pm I'm bored out my head. 1 of my friends called me worried saying I should call my CPN. I'm fine. I'm a lot calmer today than I was yesterday. Yesterday I was so ill with anxiety. I slept ok last night I do feel exhausted. My friend said I was speed talking when I was out with her on Tuesday. She says she hadn't seen me like that before. She said sometimes I am talkative but on Tuesday it was more than that. She is worried about me. I said I would be fine, I see my CPN on Wednesday. She thinks I need to get it sooner rather than Wednesday.

I admit I feel crap! This is the 1st time I have came off meds and have been physically ill.

My support worker says she thinks I am lost. My friend said I need to find myself. How do I find myself? Support worker says everything I am contributes to my situation ie my low self esteem, lack of self worth, the fact I am hard on myself.

Why do my parents not see a difference in me? Support worker says its very noticeable so why the hell does my folks not see it? I don't want them to see it so I hide it but I am apparently not as good as hiding as I thought I was.

Today I'm wearing joggers and a huge jumper I just want to hide today!