Hi there

I started a new job two weeks ago. I was so glad, even though I couldn't participate in my borderline group any more. I quit my last job a couple of months ago, because I couldn't stand the pressure any more.

I know my current job situation is demanding, but I also like it very much. I work in a primary school and am in charge of a second grade. I have lunch with the children, help them with their homework and keep them busy or entertained throughout the afternoon.

Yesterday we met with most of the workers and we were told that we will quit the cooperation with the school because of the school principal. That's because he wants us to train the children to commit to everything we say. They have to be quiet and do whatever they are told.

So my work there will end in 5 1/2 weeks from now on. I couldn't feel much of myself during the last two weeks, but it was okay. But yesterday something broke and I just felt like falling. Everything seemed to turn out okay and then yesterday everything fell to pieces again.

I cut and burnt myself, which I haven't done for nearly half a year. I just don't know what to do. I feel so helpless.

I can't even tell why I'm writing this. I just feel like telling, I guess. And I don't want to feel so alone right now.