I think disliking doctors is a big part of it. I think there is some minimal amount of trust in the profession that is required to benefit from medications and non-pharmacological medical advice. Since you despise doctors, you cannot be medically helped, so you are doing the right thing not seeing them and not taking the medications.

I am not really big on placebo effect. When my former p-doc prescribed Prozac, I had zero faith. Zero. I still filled the prescription, and the drug became effective within days. (!) So it was clearly not placebo given that I had no faith. Lithium is not placebo - I start spending after missing a dose and a half and not realizing it. But when my former p-doc prescribed Temazepam, I already had faith because I already saw that the lady knew what she was doing. That she had an infectious, arresting smile (an Indian woman with a mouthful of pearls) and talked to me about all my problems did not hurt either. I think I will forever remember her smile. So maybe with Temazepam there is some placebo effect because I had faith.

I am scared like hell than anorgasmia from Geodon will become tardive because I have read about similar effects from SSRI's. But my new p-doc, the young guy who impressed me with his maturity, is positive that he will solve this problem, and I trust him - starting with next visit, we will try different meds in place of Geodon.

Because you have no trust and no faith, you have closed down this avenue of potential help altogether.

I should add that in outpatient setting, I have had three good docs counting the new one and three horrible docs and one so-so, so I understand that the chances of finding a good one are not so high, and in the Canadian system, you do not have much choice.