Hiya fairy tooth, ive always been the same, ive got severe anxiety depression and borderline personality disorder. You need to talk to someone (either professional, or anyone ya can trust/relate to).
Bottling up emotions and not understanding healthy relationships has runined my life (I'm 30 now) ended up hospitalized 13 months. am agarophobic now.

please get some help and live a fuller life.
ps if people have a problem with you its their problem, you are special.x