My original no contact with my mom started with her. When my dad died, she looked all around for pictures to add to a memory table and couldn't find any. I had acquired a few many years ago and we had them blown up and added to the table as a "surprise". The first thing out of her mouth was "where did you get those pictures from?". From that point on, when I called, she hung up on me, and she sent me a letter on my dad's birthday (on purpose) accusing me of stealing all her pictures and other mementoes and that I was no longer her daughter. Many have tried to say she's old, she has dementia, and I would give that to her if she hadn't done it my whole life. When I was in college, I received a letter everyday, sometimes more than one, saying how awful I was and that I'd abandon her, etc. she probably has BPD and was kind enough to pass it along. Regardless , I can not contact her any more. My own well-being is very shaky right now without throwing that in to the mix. I'm sure I'm setting myself up to feel guilty later, but for once, I have to think of myself. Good luck dealing with your family issues, Rose, and know you are supported and understood here.