Wow, we have a lot in common in our situations. My mother is still alive, but we haven't had any contact for over 5 years. She isn't safe ,and still is a physical threat. I can't get a protection order against her because she hasn't harmed me yet , in the past 7 years. Even though I don't think it would help either.
As a child I was never allowed to show anger or cry or I would get it worse. My T says I need to keep my DH and my kids away from her, she is dangerous. My brother doesn't have any contact either. I understand about being scared of the memories and about being angry. But eventally it will come to a head, but give it time, and only do it when you are ready. EMDR helped me a lot, does your T do that?
It sounds like you have a good marriage, good for you! I am glad he was there for you. You were married so young, but yet if you were like me, I am sure you were way more mature than your friends because of your experiences. ((((( Dalila))) By the way, I love Dalias, I have several kinds in my garden! ;-)